I'm finally going

I leave today, 9:30 PM from JFK. An eight hour flight will take me to London for a 12 hour stopover, then up in the air for another 8 hours until we reach Entebbe. I've known about the trip since I was accepted by The Invisible Children Teacher Exchange Program December 17th of last year, but, like death, it seemed so distant it wasn't real for me.
Along the way I've gotten shots for meningitis, polio, mumps, tetanus, yellow fever, Hepatitis A & B (a series of 3 each) and typhoid; I've picked up my 60 days of anti-virals to protect against malaria; been issued guidelines on how to behave, "Don't go out alone, but don't go out in groups."; read Ugandan papers, poetry and books; and had the occasional nightmare (snakes in the bed, plane goes down in flames). Luckily, I've also been the recipient of a constant stream of e mails from the teachers who are in the group that preceded us, full of joy, of wonder. They convey a sense of wanting us to be there with them already so we can share in this wonderful experience. But too many weeks of mowing the lawn, weeding the garden, too many birthdays and graduation parties, too much life here in NY for me to allow my mind to go to Uganda.
No, it didn't become real for me until last week-end, Father's day week-end, when I sat with my three step-daughters and my wife for a send-off dinner. There, the three girls handed me a card, a Father's Day card. Unless you've been a step-parent, it may be difficult to grasp how big that is. Although I never tried to supplant their Dad, that doesn't mean it always felt like that to them. I took the card signed by all three, opened it, and saw though blurred vision the three signatures all preceded by the word, "Love." I looked at their mother, my wife, saw her tears--some happy for me, some, no doubt, sad that the girl's father wasn't still alive-- and suddenly I felt the weight of leaving.
So, I leave tonight on my next step in life. I am excited, scared. But as I look at what I am leaving and where I was before, I am confident that no matter what is out there, I will learn from it and come back a richer man.